but everythingmeans nothing.

Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Well.. today is Tuesday.. I dunnoe why.. but I seem to have so much to say.. I guess.. I am getting used to the hectic life.. I still have not completed my ASP part.. damn sianz.. it sux alright.. I juz can't figure out.. Lectureres and Tutirs in school juz throw everything to us.. only teaching us the basics.. but the point is.. for my part.. the basics are not really in use and have to figure "brand new" codes in my mind.. uRgHz! Yesterday.. I had my Biz Com test.. and it went alright.. and she said smthing which seems so alien to me now.. "Well Done".. This word can hardly come across in my life.. coz I hardly can do anything well now.. Tomorrow I will be having my finance test.. I do hope it will go well.. and same goes to my IPTN test on Thursday. Got my Exam time table.. It starts on the 3 Nov and ends at 10 Nov.. this time the schedule not so bad.. in between every papers at least have about 1 day break.. Better than Year 1.. but I will still be taking 5 papers.. So will be very busy.. cOZ have to do lots of catching up..
Another thing I would like to tok about is yesterday.. Yesterday was the first time I really drove to school and my friends were in it! Well.. coz we ended school at 3.. and I planned to go home coz ppl coming to moi house to fix the computer.. and get my reference books and go back to school at 6 to do my ASP, with Derrick and Benjamin. Then Ben followed me home first.. Derrick came along (due to some miscommunications up there)... When the clock strikes 6, we are going back to school.. but my mother is not in.. so I will have the "honour" to drive to school.. damn funny.. I juz feel embarrassing.. I dun like to drive my dad's car.. Nah.. too big for me..
Yepz.. And another thing.. Shannaen and Benjamin.. Well.. things are not really going well between the 2 of them and Shannen changed much.. which I don't really want to see.. is like I am looking into another person. I still missed the times in the past.. when the 3 of us are so good.. but it seems kinda impossible now.. due to some factors.. Now.. Shannen even deleted her blog.. coz she feels there's nothing to write and her life is screwed up.. I can see.. it is really "screwed".. "fucked up".. Well.. guess it is not going well for anyone of us.. I do hope that Benjamin, Shannen and I will give each of us a chance to make up.. to be like the past (*cRosS fInGeRs).. I have not been close to my usual group anymore... INstead I have been hanging out with Ben more.. I feel bad of coz... but wadever which side I go.. I juz feel bad.. The reason why Ben and I hang out with each other.. it's becoz of work.. The both of us juz dun have the habit like the past.. I dunnoe how to say.. even Ben is starting to isolate with his friends.. We juz wanna be alone some times... Juz really engaged into ourselves.. and we juz dun have the mood to socialize.. Maybe only after Exams.. then we will come out of the cacoon.. Now.. it seems that our only topic is "studies" and "stress"... no room for enjoyment at all... Well.. I do hope that my group of friends understand.. is not that I dun wanna be with them.. juz that I feel I don't belong there at this period of time.. I really do hope we will go out after exmas like in the past.. and this time.. with Benjamin inside.. the whole gropu solely contains "Shannen, Doreen, Melissa, Wee Leng, Zhi Qiang, Benjamin and me"... Really.. one day.. I do wish this whole group will go out together... After exams alright?
And yah.. Bernice will be coming to my house this Saturday.. coz she asked me to teach her some Chemistry stuff.. hope I still do remember.. Hope I can help her.. I can hardly squeeze time for her becoz of my projects and stuff.. sianzzzzzzzzzz!
Message for Shannen:
Hey.. don't give up on urself even though the whole world crashes on you... maybe you have not founf your "real" you.. but I'm sure you are able to do that.. All of us.. including me.. don't wana see the "now" you... and I'm sure all of us are concerned and worried about you.. Juz hope that u will think it thru wad I've said yesterday and dun let us down okie? Including ur MUM!!!! We love you!
if i ain't got you|10:39 AM|

Saturday, September 27, 2003
Will not blog for sometime... busy.. and trying to tune my life.
if i ain't got you|9:16 AM|


Which flock do you follow?
this quiz was made by alanna
if i ain't got you|12:27 AM|

Thursday, September 25, 2003
Duh~ sIck again.. isn't that sickening? I mean this is the 3rd time I am falling sick during this semester alone... Stared with sore throat, then flu, then fever, dirrheroa... then stomach flu.. sick.. ate plain porriage and "cai xin" the whole day.. damn sianzz.. and when I took a nap, I dream of MacDonald's.. haha.. I wanna eat tomorrow! Finally, passed up my Protoype project and gone through my presentation.. it went alright..Went to see a doc after my presentation.. skipped the ECPJ lesson.. then my mother's friend told me that sometimes the cause of stomach flu is stress.. and I suddenly tot that I am prone to stomach flu.. damn sianz.. Oh yah.. my computer can do ASP pages.. and sad to say..I've yet to finish my part.. damn difficult and confusing.. Ah.. it's always like that.. then in the end.. get a "C".. damn sickening one ya know.. I can't afford that anymore.. Tomorrow morning class... have to sleep early.. I really hope that I will be well tomorrow! PLease.. I want to eat proper stuff now~
if i ain't got you|11:12 PM|

Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Woh.. jUz finished installing IIS into my BrO's computer.. it works!!! Hahah.. tomorrow can "bia" the whole day at home.. no need to go back to school already.. HapPy hApPy~ lUckily, my bro will only be back at 10 in the night.. so I have the computer to myself for the whole day tomorrow.. Please let me solve the codes.. I really need it!!! Oh yah.. went to Johor today.. damn tired.. but still go.. with Ernest, his Dad and Aunty Gladis.. Well.. Malaysia is better than I expected.. The last time I've been there is like about 2 years ago? Well.. we stopped at one of the pasar malams.. and the first thing we did was to buy "buns".. Haha.. the buns damn big.. is like 2 times the size of our Singapore "big paos".. Hahhaz.. then we walked thru the pasar malam.. Well.. I can say thatthe pasar malams in Singapore and Malaysia are really different.. Malaysia sells more types of varieties, more food.. and they even sell fresh seafood! Hehez.. I bought a chicken drumstick and a stick of "bird eggs".. hahah.. delicious.. then after the short walk, we went to a nearby hawker center to eat.. Aunty Gladis ordered alot of food.. and we had "steam boat".. but not like Singapore.. We place sticks of food like "yong tau foo" stuff into a pot of boiling water.. then also ordered 2 bowls of wanton mee (dry and soup), a bowl of dumpling soup, "yee mee" , fried prawn mee and anther type of noodles.. Damn cheap.. I didn't eat much.. becoz I am having a sore throat.. so no appetite.
Oh yah.. the finance project results are out.. including the individual test which is also counted into the project.. Remember I felt very sad the other time? Well.. it's becoz the lecturer thinks that I somehow "copy" then I have to write down that I refer to some damn notes.. then I tot by writing that down, I will fail my test.. coz that section carries alot of marks. Surprisingly.. I did quite well.. I think the teacher didn't minus all the marks or rather didn't penalize me.. I dunnoe.. But anyway.. whoever who mark my paper.. thanks ah! But I think it's my tutor who marked it.. so the lecturer can go and eat shit.. coz she keep cursing ppl fail and now.. those she cursed got an 'A' grade~ =wInKz=.. Well.. Congrates to those students! Yep.. got an 'A' grade overall.. kinda happy but not overjoyed.. At least this result can put my mind into ease.. Coz all this while.. my morale kinda low.. so this result at least can give me a glimpse of hope?
if i ain't got you|11:54 PM|

Monday, September 22, 2003
Supposingly I've finshed my International Business Assignment, however, Jasmine, who is also presenting this week got the same article as mine. I've failed to inform her beforehand and it's my fault. So, I've got my punishment, I re-do the whole stuff. Yes, I spent a great deal of time doing it, I even did it in the wee hours of the morning. But no choice.. you got to pay a price when u make a mistake. Anyway, I've finished up the whole thing, finally.. Hope there are no mistakes this time. I even inform Benji already. I am going back to school later, at 6, to do my ASP pages. Feeling very tired now, don't wish to go but have to.. might be doing until lab closes.. Luckily found a companion, Derrick. Otherwise, it would be bored and lonely to do alone. Anyway, he is another fella who lives nearby the school, so it's no problem for him. Yaocong woke me up in the morning, and said he is damned stressed of the group project, wanted me to go over and help out and of coz.. I woke up and went to school eventually. Almost late for E-comm lecture today.. coz I've forgotten the time, luckily Yaocong remembered.. otherwise I am going to miss the lecture. Well.. Shannen pierced another hold at her ear.. the top part.. kinda cool, but I will never allow myself to do that. I can't.. I dunnoe why, but piercing other places besides my ear lobe is against my principles. Yesterday, I've been dreaming about wad to do during the holidays.. coz it's only 1 and half mths away.. kinda excited.. but when I look back on wad to do these 1 and half mths.. it dampened my spirits. Shit. Dun wanna think no more.. juz have to work hard and slog for this 1 and half mth. Good Luck people, don't die.. coz holidays are coming.
if i ain't got you|4:44 PM|

Sunday, September 21, 2003
Well.. couldn't sleep.. so stayed up late to finish my tutorials.. I have to finish all by this weekend coz on Thurday, I have to submit 3 assignments. One group assignment and 2 individual assignments. I have not complete my 2 individual assignments yet. Actually last week, Benji and I decided to do the International Business Assignment together (coz we are presenting on the same day).. but I don't have the time.. Sorry Ben.. I had giddy spells when I woke up.. dunnoe why.. and I tried to install the IIS so that I could view my ASP pages.. but then it failed.. dunnoe why.. and when my brother tried.. Dunnoe why.. my E Drive is gone.. cannot function.. Arghz!!! But luckily I will not use much on it. So back to square one, have to go back to school and do.. I think I have to reformat my computer again.. MY files.. haiz.. all gone... But I really want to install IIS! Sianz.. today Ernest is sick.. flu, cough and sore throat.. Wanted to accompany him.. but then I am really tied down by my work.. So Sorry dear! Get Well Soon! Benjamin is participating a badminton competiton in ITE Dover this coming Monday.. competing with SP.. Hope that NYP will win.. Good Luck Benji!
Message to Melissa:
I've received your mail.. thanks for ur comments and I really appreciate it.. I really feel fortunate to have u as a good friend.. Thank you! My happiness is restored! =)
Message to Yan Rong:
Heya.. so glad to hear that u are taking ur driving lessons soon.. I know very well how you feel when u booked for lessons and waiting for those days to come.. feel excited but scared at the same time.. coz U won't know wad kind of instructor you are going to get... Well.. when I first sit in the vehicle.. I was like so anxious to see who is my instructor.. which ah pek.. dunnoe whether fierce anot.. in the end.. I was luckily, got Nelson. Then you will think that it's nothing. Good Luck to you!
Message to Shannen:
Yoz.. glad to hear that u got over Brandon.. hope that it is for real this time.. at least you won't feel so painful moving on. Just enjoy ur life now and don't think so much yeah?
Message to Doreen:
Feel happy for you when Max and you are together.. I believ he will treat u better than your past boyfriends.. so treasure him k? Good Luck to you!
Message to Ernest:
Hey Dear... Thank you for the wonderful time you have given me yesterday, I never really relaxed until yesterday.. I am sorry I was like quiet during the last part, coz I was like kinda upset it ended so fast... I wonder when will be the next time I will see you again. Love you baby~ will remember your promise.
if i ain't got you|3:10 AM|

Friday, September 19, 2003
Heya... LOOk at the time! I am still not asleep.. Well.. I was doing my prototype, can't get to sleep, kinda anxious. Something's wrong with my computer again.. dunnoe why.. haiz.. hope it dun crash.. for the next few weeks.. coz I desperately need my computer do assignments. I am meeting my group mates at 8 later.. sianz.. so early.. Well.. most probably I am meeting Ernest tomorrow if there aren't any things cropped up. It seems that I have not met him for a very long time.. I think the last time met him was on 11 Sep, Latern Festival.. Miz him.. hehehe.. Guess I am going to yawn all my way tomorrow.. Oh yah.. my sister watched those 2 new clips.. and she cried! Well.. I am not embarassed to say.. I cried too.. too touching man.. Whenever I watch touching love stories.. I will cry.. dunnoe why. Alright! gotta go! BYe!
if i ain't got you|2:54 AM|

Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Yoz.. I'm back.. Well.. I didn't blog yesterday.. coz obviously I didn't feel so well.. Benji is the first who noticed that I have swollen eyes today.. was kinda surprised.. coz I tot is was not obvious.. Yeah yeah.. dun wanna lie anymore. I did cry a great deal last night. Well.. there's lots of factors to it but the most obvious reason is becoz of studies.. ON Monday night.. the stress in my mind had already taken to a hit. The only time I've experienced this was when I was in JC.. and I didn't know that I will come into this situation even when I am in Poly. Well.. if I see it in a larger picture and think clearly.. it wouldn't be so bad. I think my same old problem is back... I give the stress to myself to much. I think too much. I have to really try to change and I will... As I've said before, the age of 18 suppose to be the sweetest and the most enjoyable time in our lives... but it does not happen.. Well.. there are a few HAPPENINGS.. but it is not good to remember. I think for now, in order to make myself feel better.. I have to throw everything aside.. meaning, for wad wrong stuff I did in my studies, I will juz take it as a lesson and learn from it. I am trying to stand up on my feet again. I want to. I am trying to be the same old Crystal back in my Secondary School days.. Learn not to give up. Oh well.. I think that's it. I have added some 2 sets of nice clips to watch.. boYz and gIrLs.. muz watch the full 5 episodes for both of them.. from these clips.. I've learnt how to treasure a love relationship and love is really beautiful but also cruel..
I dunnoe when I have a cough... but I think it already started yesterday but I didn't realise. Bad time of the day. I had menses. Stomach cramps and stuff.. but luckily I had the medicine to stop it.. Phew... today's another day.. and I have more assignments to complete. Especially this weekend.. guess I can't unwind myself.. Oh yah.. got back my finance project grade.. 'A'.. yes.. I feel that my whole group deserves it. Well done! Namely, Doreen, Derrick, Yi Luan, Zhen Zhen and Zhi Ting. Nice working with all of you! =)
I love you Ernest, would you promise to hold me forever and never let go?
if i ain't got you|10:39 PM|

Monday, September 15, 2003
hApPI bIrThdAy dErRiCk! U'Re 18! Hahaha.. May U have good times ahead! sPeNd uR sWeEt 18 wisEly! Yep.. The group of guys and maby some girls from my class went for KTV today.. Derrick asked me to go along.. and he said that it's his treat.. ehhehez.. But I didn't go.. So sorry Derrick! Coz I was kinda kinda tired~ After school, Benji camr to my house and waste some time.. cOz he had badminton at 6 and we ended class like 2 plus? He also dun feel like staying in school alone.. and he says he is kinda afriad that the labs are full, as he wanted to do his HTML.. Well.. I dunnoe why.. I was like very tired.. I slept... Benji and my sis were like surfing the web or smthing.. I dunnoe.. I can hear their voices behind me when I was like half asleep. Haiz.. my BUsiness Environment tutor, Mr Ho supposed to come for our tutorial.. but I think he forgot to come or got mixed up with his time tables.. then he told us that he will make up to us on Thursday... The Odd-Even week schedule really got us mixed up! Even the tutors! Haiz... Tomorrow another "rest" day.. I wonder when will it be the time I really "wake" up.. I seem to be in dreamland..still... Sometimes when I loked outside my window.. I was thinking.. what do I really want? How can I make myself stop fighting? 18 years old... suppose to be the best times of my life.. but it's not.. why Singapore have to turn out this way.. why the whole world have to move so fast? All I know is that.. this Semester 2 is going to end soon.. yes.. it's going to end soon.. before I know it, it will end.
if i ain't got you|10:24 PM|

A new week starts.. wonder will it be good or bad.. I have a feeling that smthing bad is going to happen.
if i ain't got you|8:26 AM|

Sunday, September 14, 2003
It rained heavily today... and I saw 2 car accidents.. One.. my brother and I witnessed it.. I think it was at the expressway.. A black vehicle juz banged against the wall.. I dunnoe wad happen.. maybe it's slippery or smthing.. but luckily it is not that serious.. juz a small hit.. Well.. another accident was like nearby my house.. I didn't witness it.. but I saw the car was crashed badly... against a lamp post.. I think the car have to be scrapped away.. dunnoe how is the driver now.. Well.. I think accidents are more prone during rainy days.. so drive slowly... In the evening, Ernest and I went to North Point and have dinner, Sakae Sushi. There was a couple sitting beside me.. I noticed the guy first.. coz when he took a plate from the conveyer belt, he took out the cover and put back to the conveyer belt or on top of other covers which are covering the yet "untouched" food... I tot only KIDS do that? Then I was like kinda pissed off.. Then I started to notice that the lady did that too.. and the most horrible thing that she did.. was to take a plate from the belt.. took out the cover, smelt it, shook her head and put back the food on the conveyer belt... WAD the HELL? NO Table manners at all.. I wondered before I came.. how much food had they smelt and placed those plates back.. Why got such ppl?!
if i ain't got you|10:13 PM|

Saturday, September 13, 2003
Well... managed to finish the required tutorials for next week.. damn sianz.. feeling better.. coz at least I am doing some work.. I still dun feel so well today.. so I stayed at home.. except the part that I accompaned Yan Rong to SSDC.. she is going to take up driving lessons for this coming holidays.. Hehehz.. I think she will be the next among my 5 good friends (Celeste, Lindy, Jovin adn Kate) to get a license.. hehe.. Saw Nelson in SSDC and I called after him.. he was kinda shocked and he said that actually he hoped to meet me up this week so that he is going to return me smthing.. I dun remember there's anything for him to return.. coz I dun remember me passing him anything or wad so ever.. weird... Well surprise surprise.. I stayed at home on both Friday and Saturday.. which is kinda hard to hear from Crystal Tan? I think I am already old.. no stamina to run about.. Lolz.. Had my guitar lesson this morning, and I learnt a new technique.. "Hammering". It is kinda difficult as I need to "hit" the strings very hard in order to produce the sound.. furthermore my guitar is not comfortable to play.. My left fore finger's skin.. manage to peel off alittle..
Last night, I didn't manage to sleep well.. turned off the lights at 1 plus.. but only slept at 4 plus... woke up at 8 plus... sIanz.. I think I am thinking too many stuff.. Sucks.
if i ain't got you|7:42 PM|

Friday, September 12, 2003
Well.. I have disappointed a few of my friends today.. First.. I would like to say sorry to Celeste and Lindy.. Supposingly I am going to Jurong Water Works with them.. but becoz I have flu and fever.. I couldn't make it. Then I skipped school.. Benji tot I was going to school.. then he went to school too.. wanting to give me smthing.. So sorry Benji.. Also.. Cheng Kwee asked me out today.. but I don't feel well.. so I stayed at home.. The whole day! Can u believe it! It's Friday and I am at home! By the way.. Derrick and Benji came to my house after class at 10.. and we also got nothing to do... juz watched a tv programme and tok.. then soon.. all of us juz feel asleep.. me on the bed.. Benji on the side of my bed and Derrick on the chair with my pillow.. How funny.. hahahha.. Oh yah.. On Wednesday, Yaocong, Sim Lim and Yi Luan came to my house to do project.. When we were about to finish, Sim Lim used my MSN to tok to Derrick (Benji and Sean were in Derrick's house then),.. hahha.. You should see thier conversation... so mushy and vulgar? Haha.. then after that.. Yaocong saw my cookbook of making chocolates and suggested to go Swensens and wat ice-cream.. Yeah.. and we did.. Spent alot again.. Haiz... From there, I felt that I am closer to my group mates.. especially Yi Luan.. I don't ususally tok to Yi Luan in school for the past 1 year.. but after we are in the same grp.. we are at a better toking terms.. lolz... Wad can I say that is an interesting person and smart too!
Oh yah.. when Derrick and Benji left.. I went to sleep immediately.. and I dreamt of death.. I dreamt that I am dying.. it is a scary thing to dream of... I can really sense it.. When I woke up.. it is about dinner time.. then my dad suddenly asked me to go and see car (Lexus). Then after dinner... my mum, dad and me changed and set off.. Hahah.. so funny.. today was the "launch" day.. and many ppl were there.. in their best suits and dresses.. whereas we wore like "...." U know wad I mean.. There's a nice buffet and a small string band 4 ppl) playing music.. So grand.. my mum and I were like very embarrassed.. coz of how we wore.. but we still mamage to grab some food and drinks.. I took salmon.. yeah.. still hate it! uRgHz.. dun make me eat again! Finally.. a guy served us.. the same guy who used to serve my mum when she bought her Lexus.. His name is John I think... My dad had a car in his mind.. it is IS 200.. so he asked John to drive out.. and I did test drive.. I can say it is the best among I've seen so far.. and most importantly, it is comfortable.. there are 2 versions. Standard and Special Edition.. Wanted the normal version in the first place.. coz when we saw the Special Edition one.. it is like kinda dark.. can't see the colour of the car properly (Special Editon only have one colour).. then John took the trouble to drive down to the first level so that we can take a proper look.. Hell.. the colour was damn nice.. and my parents think it is nice too.. So decided to take the Special Edition.. since the lights and the only colour they provide is nicer than the Standard Verison.. Well.. that's it.. I've got my own vehicle and I am happy of coz.. I mean thanks dad and mum! But I juz have a fear.. a fear to have accidents.. hope I will not think so much... Also.. my happiness does not really cover up the sadness I had accumlated.. I am thinking about all my school work and stuff.. I think studying really make life hell for me... I don't know.. but I feel guilty for not being so happy.. which I should.. coz I am so much luckier than many other children.
Haha.. oh yah.. last night was too tired.. so forgot to tell u my experience meeting my friends' boyfriends.. Zhe Fon (Melissa's bf).. woh.. he big sized and tall.. built I would say.. cute looking too and a cheeful person =) Pool.. good!. Max (Doreen's bf) In my school.. seen him lotsa times and talked to him beforehand.. Cute looking too.. very friendy and cheerful.. always laugh with Doreen (Doreen always laugh too)... helpful too.. haha.. gave me cockles and prawns! Thanks! Melvyn... not bad.. kinda quiet.. always turning attention to Shannen.. haha.. U are one lucky gal.. and he has nice eyes.. juz like Benji. =). Had a great time! Nice knowing all of ya!
if i ain't got you|11:14 PM|

I am blogging again! Hehez.. But that doesn't mean that I forgot that matter? I will call her a Bitch if I blog 2 days ago.. but nvm.. wun talk about it today to spoil my mood~ First of all, there are 2 occassions.. Juz passed! Mid Autumn Festival and 9-11 anniversary attack.. but I think the 9-11 didn't really affect our mood today! Today, my classmates, namely, Shannen, Melissa and Doreen planned to go out and have some fun.. and you know what? We have to bring our boyfriends.. of cOz I am included.. First, I accompanied Ernest to SSDC to have his basic theory test.. then all of us met in Marina Bay to eat steamboat.. Hahah.. got to see all their boyfriends~ Shannen with Melyvn, Melissa with Zhe Fon and Doreen with Max. We all had a great time.. and spent like about 2 hours to eat. The most interesting part is that we are having live prawns..When we wanted to put them in the pot.. some of them jumped out.. Hahha.. Shannen & I really got a scare! After eating, we went to play pool.. then we go home... When we were on the train.. we were like toking.. asking each and every couple when they are getting married.. and buy how many "digits" wedding ring.. LoLZ! It has been such a long time I have such fun... I guess after this outing.. all of us are like closer to their boyfriends too.. Hehehz.. Oh yah.. I've changed my blogskin... and the torn and tattered bear at the left.. it symbolizes me.. coz many things had happen which affect me alot.. made me to torn and ruggered.. I juz hope I will recover soon... Maybe only after the school term.. Hahahzz.
This message is for everyone:
Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to Give. Treat every moment as is it's the last day, then you'll know how to treasure. Treasure what you have right now, or else you will regret one day...:^
if i ain't got you|12:32 AM|

Tuesday, September 09, 2003
No mood to blog. Will not blog for the next few days at least. When I am feeling better, will tell u everything wad had happen. This week is really hell for me. Take Care.
if i ain't got you|11:07 PM|

Monday, September 08, 2003
Finished school at 3.. but stayed till 7~ Becoz of projects.. I think it is like fair enough coz I only have to attend 16 hours of lessons per week and the rest of the time in school will be for projects.. Juz finished reading through my finance notes (Tomorrow have test ah!).. read only hor.. never memorise anything man.. I dunnoe tomorrow how.. Now I feel abit tired.. feel like sleeping but can't.. Still have to do some house-keeping matters for projects. Tomorrow I will be facing 2 tests.. no confidence in both.. Dunnoe why.. maybe becoz I studied last minute? Well.. no time to study eh.. all "bia" for projects.. alot of my friends only studied today too... After tomorrow.. at least I can rest for a while.. might be meeting Ernest for dinner.. Anyway.. he is not working anymore.. so got more time for each other.. Haiz.. I think for the next few weeks to exams.. I will not have much time anymore.. Damn sianz... Hope holidays will come fast!
if i ain't got you|11:05 PM|

Sunday, September 07, 2003
Haiz.. wanted to dig out some old games and play.. however.. I do not meet the system requirements, juz becoz I am using Windows XP Pro... Sianz.. Wanted to play Theme Hospital to torture the patients or Dungeon Keeper to be a bad guy. Juz can't find any nice games to play to relief stress!!! ArGhzz!!! But nevermind.. Hahaha... Didn't feel so good today.. becoz of one incident.. dun wanna tok about it and it is not nice.. so PPL Dun ASk Me!!! I will always remember what had happen... Anyway.. juz dropped the subject.. Just now when I reviewed my time table, I've realised that I have two tests scheduled on Thuesday!!! Some told me one on Tues, one on Thurs.. Haiz.. Luckily I've checked.. otherwise I might not enough time to study! I predict that tomorrow I will juz concentrate on my finance.. Now still abit blur.. and tutor said gonna give us individual test.. to test us if we have done our project.. But the main bloody problem is... We don't even know whether we did the project calculations correctly.. wad made them think that we've learnt something? Yes.. we all know what we are doing.. but how we know we are right or wrong? All of us learn from mistakes.. If we dun even know our mistakes.. how are we going to do well for our test? We will still make the same mistakes in the individual test.. then by then when we get our results.. it will be too late! So wad we might not make the same mistakes in the exams? BUt the marks in small tests will also be calcualted in the overall results.. Damn.... My classmates are all rushing projects.. MOst of them have to pass up on Tues... How shitty can this be! We are all stressed up! GO & Die PPL.. hahahah!!!! (joking)
if i ain't got you|10:42 PM|

Duh! Dunnoe wads happen to blooger again.. Can't see ppls' posts!!! Ah.. hope it will be done soon. Anyway.. Juz came back from Jalan Kayu.. ate banana roti prata.. damn full. Haiz.. somehow or rather.. I have completed two projects, Biz Com and Finance. I juz feel great.. I dun have to think that much anymore. But I guess that period is not the worst.. there are more to come.. Dunnoe leh.. feeling a little sleepy but still dun feel like sleeping.. coZ tomorrow is the last day of my holiday! AwWww.. it sux.. I didn't even enjoy! I guess all of my classmates also.. When I see them on Monday.. I think they will look like zombies.. not re-charged at all... Oh.. Sister watching Matrix in my room again.. Hhaha.. Oh gosh... my eyes are stuck at the TV~ Hehehezz... Haiz.. he is juz so charming.. Oh yah.. Remembered that day..w hen I went out with Yan Rong and Celeste.. We saw James Lye!!! He is looks the same.. clean shaven and he looks damn cute when he pouts his mouth.. Hahah.. Alright, I think I stop bloggin liao. Cya!
if i ain't got you|12:33 AM|

Friday, September 05, 2003
My mind is in a swirl now... Lotsa things to think about. I am thinking the layout of my shopping cart and what do I have to put it inside... This prototype project suppose to be handed up on Week 12.. However, Mdm Tay wants to see the importants parts on Week 10.. which means more or less, we will be finishing the prototype. Later.. my Finanace group coming to my house and finish it up.. I really hope we will figure everything out today! I think by giving us all the projects in Year 2.. we will not have any problems handling projects in Year 3.. Dunoe lah.. and futhermore.. On the end of WEek11.. I have a CCA camp.. I dunnoe if I want to go.. especially with all these work load and the weekends will be extremely important to me... Weekends are the times when I finish up my work and give myself a break.. But see the things I am going to do.. break is "deleted".. Wadever..
if i ain't got you|10:31 AM|

Thursday, September 04, 2003
Today's my break day!!! Ah.. can say lahz.. I juz had my guitar lesson and guess wad? My instructor said I have improved! Hehehe.. I never really practise for the whole of one week and I only took out my guitar 2 days ago.. I smoked through! Hehehezzz.. Anyway.. My day is somehow lined up with activities.. I am going to have lunch with Nelson and about 4 plus.. I will be meeting Yan Rong and Celeste.. Going to buy present fot Yan Rong.. Hahah.. Yan Rong wanted to treat me for dinner.. becoz Yr1 Sem2 I somehow taught her statistics and she passed~ I forgot all about that until she mentioned it yesterday.. But I don't expect to get any returns ya know... But since she mentioned it and futhermore it is hard for her to treat ppl, I shall acceot the offer!! Hahaha.. dun worry Yan Rong.. I am not going to make ur pockets full of holes! Yesterday, I did my last part of the online store.. Feel kinda satisfied.. and by this Friday, I have to complete my shopping cart. Er... Now with so many darn projects.. I ignored my upcoming tests.. I will juz revise over the weekends and hope I still could score. Oh yah.. I added a new link, under "aBoUt mOi" ... my past.. juz click on that and you will be able to see all my past posts.. hehehzzz.. Didn't manage to make it so complete.. so hope you don't mind! Cya!
if i ain't got you|11:15 AM|

Wednesday, September 03, 2003
Well.. this should be my final choice.. I choose IT.. U all muz be wondering why did I choose IT in the end.. Well.. first thing.. even I choose IT modules.. it ain't gonna affect wad I am going for my degree, even though it is a business course. Secondly, Mdm Tay said that the elective IT modules are the updated ones and they are strongly demanded in IT industries. Thirdly, no matter where I choose, I will get an IT cert in the end and lastly, if I would want to take business modules.. I won't take it in NYP (at least). NYP is more specialized in IT areas and I am gonna make full use of it. After making my decision, I feel so much more relieved. I believe that this is a right choice for me. Who knows.. I am gonna work in an IT company in future? =cHuCks=
if i ain't got you|5:52 PM|

Tuesday, September 02, 2003
Does it only mean that by being shrewd.. you can only be a good businessman? Is it fated that I can't be a good businesswoman, juz becoz I always pity and sympathize ppl? I really dunnoe.. Becoz of what MY FAMILY MEMBERS(bro & mum) say.. it makes me reconsider my choice... I really dunnoe.. My brother even says that those who went into my course has no future.. coz U were left there dangling~ I dunnoe lah.. but it somehow contradicts of wad the lecturers in my school say.. They highly recommand our course~coz you know well in both areas.. cOz now.. almost every companies in this world needs IT. Wad the f*ck.. shouldn't have asked them for opinions.. coz I know very well they are bias against poly. Then they will say I should take my A levels or wadever shit.. U mean those ppl taking A levels and going to University will succeed in life meh? Many ppl and I have met up with those stuck up ppl.. holding degrees and wadever cert (not applying to all.. but most of them)... and they are nothing except "air" in their head. Up till now.. I still believe that I have made the right choice... getting out of the damn JC life. No pain. No regrets.
if i ain't got you|9:57 PM|

Today's my Option Day... stupid right.. asks us to go back to school during the holidays.. I dunnoe wadever the reason lahz.. Surprisingly.. I am able to wake up kinda early.. Actually I can sleep like about an hour more? I dunnoe lorhz... It's not that I am aanxious or wad... I am still sticking to Business.. Unless... during the briefing.. Something changed my mind.. Maybe I should juz listen to what the Lecturers have to say, then I make my final decision.. Later doing finance project.. Read up the points.. I think juz analyze and put in data.. hope can get it done asap.. I still have Biz Com research to do when I come back!!! For the next few days.. I will juz stay at home and do my projects/ work wadever stuff... Except Thursday (my break day). I really have to stay put at home.. Can't afford to slack! Yesterday is another day which I didn't have any proper meal... For the whole day.. I only ate 5 mouths of chicken rice and some little snacks.. I dunnoe.. is like I am hungry.. but when food is stuffed into my mouth.. I feel full.. Arghz.. The only time when I felt this way is few years back.. I vomitted hard becoz I was too full and it hurt my gastric and I wasn't able to eat well for the next few days... This time is different! I didn't vomit and I juz can't eat... Do u think this is due to stress? I hope not! If it is.. this is terrible.. coz first time experiencing like that! And it muz be very stressful for me... coz U know.. I love food.. and I juz "live for the sake of eating"..
if i ain't got you|9:32 AM|

Monday, September 01, 2003
Well.. it is not holidays.. Juz feel that I am given more time to catch up some stuff... After thinking what will I be doing... I've realised that I might dun have the time to revise my stuff.. Only projects.. projects.. projects... Tomorrow will be meeting up for finance project.. and we are suppose to "bia"? I think so... hope can finish in time.. Suppose to read up finance and learn how to use the excel.. and I have not done it yet! My Biz Com project meeting will be on Wednesday and I have not done my part of researching yet! Ah~ Now.. my holidays is either home or school.. Sux.. Did another SMALL part of my project juz now.. and I've counted.. I have 39 html pages already! I have not even touched on my shopping cart! Only the online store.. Well.. at least I am doing something.. not so bad.. Wouldn't feel so guilty.. Haha.. Keanu Reeves is cool.. I guess I am still going to idolize him in the near future.. =) My dad is back.. No car for me.. so ahve to take the traditional way.. Tking bus and MRT... sIanz... I am still taking Business....
if i ain't got you|3:11 PM|
